So, I am hurt. Lost. Not really sure of all of the emotions that are churning inside tonight. I have wanted something for so long, now, it's here and literally in my face but yet, it's not at all what I wanted.
I wanted the love, passion, sincerity, and all of the other emotions that I had learned from you. I wanted that look in your eyes. That feel of your touch. The skip of my heartbeat. The catch in my breath. The butterflies in my stomach. The rest in your arms. But, that's not what I got.
Logically, I knew what to expect. You told me. Made it clear. But my heart, hoped. I got what was expected. Nothing more. Not one tiny piece more. I thought, had hoped like a child, that if I tried hard enough, stayed long enough, waited....but no. I got exactly what was expected.
I am such a stubborn student. I have to be presented with the same lesson time and again before I finally learn from it. Well, that is where I sit right now. Another lesson, previously taught, but learned again. Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.
Sometimes, nothing is better than something.
I wanted the love, passion, sincerity, and all of the other emotions that I had learned from you. I wanted that look in your eyes. That feel of your touch. The skip of my heartbeat. The catch in my breath. The butterflies in my stomach. The rest in your arms. But, that's not what I got.
Logically, I knew what to expect. You told me. Made it clear. But my heart, hoped. I got what was expected. Nothing more. Not one tiny piece more. I thought, had hoped like a child, that if I tried hard enough, stayed long enough, waited....but no. I got exactly what was expected.
I am such a stubborn student. I have to be presented with the same lesson time and again before I finally learn from it. Well, that is where I sit right now. Another lesson, previously taught, but learned again. Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.
Sometimes, nothing is better than something.
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