It is said that hindsight is 20/20 and I have heard countless people in my life say "if I knew then what I know now" about so many situations. I have again taken to journaling, but this time in a different for me way. I am using "self reflective" writing prompts.
Well, if it were possible to warn my younger self, there's so very much that I would say. Most importantly, I would tell a much younger me that I was not in any way responsible for the sexual abuse that happened to me before I was old enough to even comprehend what was happening. That I had done absolutely nothing to provoke the situation and I should not carry any guilt. I would tell myself that I am a wonderfully made daughter of a King that cannot be defeated. I would say that the opinions of others are in no way reflective of who I have to be or become, that I can and should write my own story without needing the approval of anyone.
I would say to her, that there is more to you than feeding the physical & carnal desires and/or demands of men (and women) and that no one has the right to make me feel otherwise. I would add that there is no reason to hide my intelligence. That people, men specifically, should not feel threatened by my intelligence but should embrace it and be proud of it. I would tell her that my feelings do in fact matter and do not make me "silly" or "over reactive" or nagging. I would tell her that when someone says "women are all bitches" or any such other negative and grouping comment, that they were the ones with the problem and not me. I would say to her that she is and always will be a work in progress and to focus on that and not the demeaning statements from others.
I would let her know that the key to true beauty is inside, her heart and her mind; not what can be seen from the outside. Waist size, bra size, thinness or thickness, hairstyle, clothing, makeup...none of these things (and more) are not things that should be focused on in regards to her beauty. I would tell her that when she is imagining her future self as a mom and what lessons she will teach them (especially if girls) that she should be able to teach those lessons from experience and not from doing the opposite of what she wants to teach. If she wants her children to have no shame in their physical body, then she should reflect no shame in her own physical body. She should grow up knowing that she is worth every good thing that life has to offer. That she has the right to pursue her future with vigor and excitement and expectation. She should have solid ground rules for any one that she allows to occupy space in her life. She should practice tough love with those to whom she allows into her heart and not allow any form of abuse from anyone.
These are a few of the things that I would share with my younger self.
All my love, ME
Well, if it were possible to warn my younger self, there's so very much that I would say. Most importantly, I would tell a much younger me that I was not in any way responsible for the sexual abuse that happened to me before I was old enough to even comprehend what was happening. That I had done absolutely nothing to provoke the situation and I should not carry any guilt. I would tell myself that I am a wonderfully made daughter of a King that cannot be defeated. I would say that the opinions of others are in no way reflective of who I have to be or become, that I can and should write my own story without needing the approval of anyone.
I would say to her, that there is more to you than feeding the physical & carnal desires and/or demands of men (and women) and that no one has the right to make me feel otherwise. I would add that there is no reason to hide my intelligence. That people, men specifically, should not feel threatened by my intelligence but should embrace it and be proud of it. I would tell her that my feelings do in fact matter and do not make me "silly" or "over reactive" or nagging. I would tell her that when someone says "women are all bitches" or any such other negative and grouping comment, that they were the ones with the problem and not me. I would say to her that she is and always will be a work in progress and to focus on that and not the demeaning statements from others.
I would let her know that the key to true beauty is inside, her heart and her mind; not what can be seen from the outside. Waist size, bra size, thinness or thickness, hairstyle, clothing, makeup...none of these things (and more) are not things that should be focused on in regards to her beauty. I would tell her that when she is imagining her future self as a mom and what lessons she will teach them (especially if girls) that she should be able to teach those lessons from experience and not from doing the opposite of what she wants to teach. If she wants her children to have no shame in their physical body, then she should reflect no shame in her own physical body. She should grow up knowing that she is worth every good thing that life has to offer. That she has the right to pursue her future with vigor and excitement and expectation. She should have solid ground rules for any one that she allows to occupy space in her life. She should practice tough love with those to whom she allows into her heart and not allow any form of abuse from anyone.
These are a few of the things that I would share with my younger self.
All my love, ME
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